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Today is all about FEAR. Why?
Fear plays a much bigger role in our success (or lack thereof) than most of us realize.
We've all experienced fear in some capacity. We usually think immediately of something scary or traumatic or terrifying, but we don't understand how common FEAR is in our day-to-day life or how fear can also go hand-in-hand with shame, grief, and loss. But when it comes to making changes, fear can likely be a huge reason why you can't fully commit or go all in. Think about it.
Have you ever....
Been afraid to declare out loud or to specific people that you aren't drinking/taking a break/cutting back?
Refused to get an accountability partner?
Paid for something but never showed up (or stopped) for reasons that - now looking back - don't really make sense if you're truthful with yourself?!
Keep "forgetting" to make time for whatever it is you keep trying to devote time to?
Truly feel like you WANT it with everything in you but if you're completely honest DEEP DOWN you know there's something holding you back?
Not been as forthcoming or vulnerable as you could/should be due to the other person likely not meeting your expectation(s) of how you want or need them to respond?
These are all completely normal and incredibly common.
Change is hard.
With change comes the fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of judgment, and fear of success. There's also usually a lot of shame involved as well as grief from the loss or potential loss - even if you know it's best for you!
It's still a loss of the self you are or were at one time. Even if it was a short time. It's still a loss of you.
For example, have you ever been in a bad relationship or been there consoling one of your best friends after a bad break-up? No matter how much we know it REALLY is the best thing, it doesn't make it hurt any less. The pain, sorrow, and loss are all still there, but they won't always be. And it'll be gone quicker when you realize the new, better you, the YOU 2.0 that you're working toward is everything you ever wanted and dreamed of.
Now, this is where the work comes in. To do this, you must INVITE FEAR IN. Let the fear be with you. Sit with it. Dig in...
What is this fear...really!?
What is it trying to teach you?
What are you afraid of?
How can you understand it?
Finally, what do you need to do to make peace with it?
If you keep turning away from something but that something continues to come back to you, that simply means the lesson hasn't been learned. And it'll continue to haunt you until you take charge and figure it out.
To minimize the fear, see it instead as a REBIRTH. You can't birth what you don't have control over, so now is your time to gain that control and take your power back.
Really, what is the worst that can happen? I'm serious. Make a list. When you make the list be honest about what is likely to actually happen - or not. Then, see how much of the list:
- is about "you"
- is about "them"
- is about your fear of what you think they'll think...
Stick to your guns and do what is right for you. This takes practice, mindfulness, awareness, and most of all self-love.
Always seek out your authentic self - when you do you'll be more at peace than you ever realized and the fear will melt away. You've got this.
You deserve it. You are worth it!