Have you noticed that we never really learned how to self-soothe? Sure, as babies we had to learn to cry it out, but beyond that most of us likely never received the proper tools or guidance to deal with difficult emotions.
We never learned how to understand our sadness or how to calm our anger, anxiety, or frustration. Sure, we may be able to label these feelings but did we ever really comprehend them?
Society has taught us how to DISTRACT, how to AVOID, how to TUNE OUT, and - why we're all here - how to NUMB. But what has that done for us, really?!?
Moving forward, let's work on reframing our mindset.
How can we define our feelings and not be defined by them?
So often we become our emotional state. It can feel impossible not to let this happen.
But, if you can learn to separate yourself from your emotions and see the feelings for what they are, THIS is how you'll be able to move past them without them taking over.
Try this: Instead of I AM MAD...
TRY: I am FEELING mad….
Yes, this emotion exists - allow it to - but this emotion is not you, so detach from it and create space so you can face it with composure and understanding. And simple changing our language around it can help provide that space so we can see more clearly and understand what we're feeling deep down.
- Please note, this is NOT replacing or shifting away, or downplaying your feelings
- Instead, you're discovering acceptance + awareness
Put this into practice today. What can you do to allow yourself to feel the feels without them taking over? They're a part of the experience - they don't have to be THE experience. What actions can you take from here? What self-love and compassion can / do you need to show in this moment?
Feel the feels + Acknowledge + Accept -> Act
You've got this!