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A Birthday Reflection on Moderation and Personal Growth

Writer's picture: Erica MalleryErica Mallery

As I am writing this, today is a special day for me because it’s actually my birthday. Birthdays always prompt me to reflect on the past year: what went well, what needs improvement, and what should be left behind. I know we often do this during the New Year, which is great, but I personally love reflecting on my birthday. Plus, my birthday conveniently falls halfway through the year, giving me two perfect opportunities to reflect annually.



The Journey to Moderation

Why am I here? Why am I doing this? Why has this become such an integral part of my life? When you're on a journey to drink less, you'll find a lot of advice out there urging you to stop drinking altogether. For some, moderation isn't an option, and that's okay. If going completely sober is best for you, that's fantastic and I FULLY support you and your choice.


However, for me and many people I work with, moderation is possible but requires planning and effort. We weren't taught how to moderate—our experiences with drinking typically involve sneaking it, binge-drinking in college, or seeing it glorified in media. But my journey allowed me to notice changes, especially during the pandemic when I started drinking more frequently and in larger amounts. I realized that I was drinking more than I'd like and sought alternatives that didn't involve quitting altogether.


Everything I found about moderation seemed to miss the mark, pushing for total sobriety, which wasn’t for me. So, I created ShameOver and tested it to see if it would work for myself and others—and it did!


Throughout my life, I’ve tried numerous diets that were all black-and-white, leaving no room for flexibility. This always led to self-sabotage because I rebelled against strict rules. I feared the same would happen with alcohol. After my early experiences, including a month of sobriety in my twenties that showed no noticeable difference, I doubted complete abstinence would work for me. Fast forward to today, I'm in a much better place and have learned so much through this process.



Key Lessons in Moderation


1. You’ve Got to Be Ready: This journey must start with you. If you've been questioning your drinking habits, this is your call to reflect and decide what moderation looks like for you. Remember, it must be a personal decision driven by self-worth and readiness.


2. Don’t Drink for Negative Emotions: I no longer turn to alcohol when I feel stressed, angry, or overwhelmed. If I reach for a drink, it’s for positive reasons. This rule has become my guiding principle and prevents me from using alcohol as a crutch. Fill your emotional cup before your physical one!


3. Find a Community: You can't do it alone. The support and community I found through this journey were essential. Surround yourself with people who empower and inspire you.


4. Celebrate Every Win: It's crucial to celebrate every success, no matter how small. Acknowledge your progress and reflect on what you’ve achieved. This positive reinforcement helps you stay motivated.


Practical Tips for Moderation


- Track Your Progress: Start by tracking your drinking habits without judgment. This will provide a baseline to measure your progress.


- Plan Ahead: For instance, if you’re attending a barbecue and a party, decide in advance how you'll handle drinking at both events. Having a plan helps you stick to your moderation goals.


- Try Alcohol-Free Alternatives: I've found several booze-free options that I enjoy more than regular alcohol 99.9% of the time. These alternatives significantly reduced my alcohol intake and satisfied my cravings.


- Create a New Nightcap Ritual: My tea kettle is always ready, replacing the nightly drink with a calming hot tea. This new ritual signifies the end of my day and helps me wind down.


Finally, be kind to yourself and understand that this journey is uniquely yours. Whether you’re making changes for yourself or supporting a loved one who is, patience, grace, and compassion are key.


Cheers to personal growth, support, and a future where we cherish our achievements and our well-being. Happy birthday to me, and here's to our shared journey of mindful moderation in all things!


You deserve it, you’re worth it, and your future self thanks you.


Cheers,

Erica


Watch the full thing here: https://youtu.be/y2YVWxgd5O0

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